Ray Rice: A Contrarian View

Over the past month or more, it's been hard to not run across the Ray Rice incident.  The short of it is--he hit his girlfriend (now wife) and as punishment has now been cut from his team, banned from the NFL, seen all of his apparel removed from stores (so no licensing revenue for him), and the loss of his endorsements.  Everything has been taken away from him.  Everything.

To be clear--with the endorsements, this is understandable.  Nike or adidas are in business to make money and having one of the faces of your business being someone who committed domestic violence--that's not going to make you money.  But just as important--those endorsements are 'extras'; they are not how Rice makes/made a living.

To be clear--any form of violence is unacceptable, whether it is a man hitting a woman, a woman hitting a man, or a man hitting a man.  Within a personal argument, words must suffice.  If it turns out you do not care for the individual--walk away.

But the thing that is getting to me is--the same people demanding Rice's head be served on a platter, that he be crucified for his action--that are calling Rice evil--many are the same people who on their Facebook pages talk about Christian love, the need for prayer and forgiveness...except that they want forgiveness for themselves, not someone like Rice.  That's different, right?  Why?

Because:

1. He's an NFL player and famous.
2. He's wealthy.
3. He's black.

Yup--I went there.  If we eliminate those three criteria, does this make the news?  Heck--it wouldn't even make the news in your own hometown paper.  Did you know that one out every six teenage girls is threatened (or has it intimated at the very least) with violence from a boyfriend?  Where's the outrage at that?  Did you know that more than FIVE MILLION work-hours were lost last year due to domestic violence (including women abusing men...which does go on, and more often than you think).  At minimum wage only--that's $35 million in lost wages. (The equivalent of 20,000 full-time jobs)

And where in the news have they talked about Rice being black?  Nowhere.  No one wants to be called racist.  But the reality is that women in relationships with black men are 35% more likely to be abused--an extension of worries about the decline of black families, the insanely high incarceration rate of black men.  But the reality is that this exists and SHOULD be talked about....but the reality is that if Rice wasn't rich, wasn't an NFL player, no one would give a crap about him beating his wife in an elevator.

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But here's the thing....remember, I mentioned Christianity?  Where's the chance at redemption?  Rice has had everything taken from him--and with the internet, the video, no one will ever forget, and certainly it seems that no one intends to give him a chance at redemption (except, currently, his wife--which is a completely different issue).

Doesn't Rice deserve a second chance?  We pardon murderers and rapists, that they have done their time.  Society has given Michael Vick a second chance after his dogfighting prison time--and since then, Vick has worked to redeem himself, fix some of the wrongs he perpetrated.  Doesn't Rice deserve his chance at redemption?

To be clear--I'm not saying to just pat him on the back and say "Don't do that again".  What Rice did was horrible. 100% horrible.  But where is the hope for him--that he can come back from this mistake?  Isn't it more powerful as a message if he is given that chance and succeeds?  He can then say, "Listen to me because I screwed up bad"--and have listeners know he is speaking from experience, speaking truth.

Instead of this--the NFL punishes him more, no double-jeopardy with Roger Goodell.  His team cuts him--easier to let him go than help Rice get professional long-term help.  Baltimore's in the football business and Rice is a commodity.  When it's used up, it's thrown in the trash, forgotten.

I suspect this blog won't be popular.  And that's okay.  I just hate hypocrisy, and it's coming from all sides on this.   Instead of venting, find a way to help.  Help all women escape from abusive relationships.   It's easy to vent at Rice--more difficult to find true justice, more difficult still to reach out and help people.